Hypothetically Of Course

Lets start with a question then break down a hypothetical scenario.  Which do you prefer “ignorance is bliss” or “knowledge is power”? While you contemplate the answer for your own personal life choice peep the following scenario. You’re dating someone for a few months now and its fun, light, refreshing, with no heavy expectations but you’re feeling like you’re a priority in their lives as for certain they are in yours. The actual conversation of “where you stand” hasn’t been had but the idea continues to invade your thoughts. They’re also starting to make comments eluding to the notion that it’s more than a fling and you both are really comfortable with one another. They’re always available and they’re always checking for you. You’re spending tons of time with each other. Months into the romance you start to get a feeling that they may have something else going on but in an effort to not rock the boat you approach it slowly and with extreme caution. You ask more casual questions because you don’t want to push them away by coming on too strong. As it turns out, you’re intuition was right and you learn in the midst of your romance, they had gotten married. You happen upon the invitation, wedding pictures, and the new spouse’s information. Can you be mad? Because you didn’t know? But you can’t be mad, because you didn’t ask right? Should they have told you? Do you think they owed you that much? Now revisit the original question. “Ignorance is bliss, or Knowledge is power”? Now that you have the knowledge do you feel empowered?  But that’s not where I want you to apply the question. Do you tell the new spouse that the week before their wedding you were laid up with their new significant other? That the day before the ceremony their new “til death do we part” mate was calling your phone trying to come and see you? Never mind your motive, could be out of anger, hurt, and need for revenge how does the question of Ignorance or Knowledge apply to the new spouse? Do they have the right to know? Perhaps it could ruin the start of their matrimony, perhaps you were just a stop on their way to their happily ever after and nothing will happen at all but do you tell? Do you give the new spouse the information? Imagine you hold it….and now your lover turned ex-lover who is also not aware that you have the information is still calling you wondering where you’ve been, misses you and wants to see you. Do you let them know you know what’s up? Do they have the right to know that you are aware? You have all the knowledge which means you have the power to control what happens next? They are ignorant to the fact you know, the spouse is (supposedly) ignorant to their newlywed’s indiscretions and based on their Facebook posts apparently blissfully happy. Do you tell…either of them?

Perhaps you just process, heal, forgive yourself and move on. Seeing as how we all have a different moral compass, perhaps you continue to see your lover with the knowledge that you’re ignorantly giving up your power for moments of bliss. Hypothetically of course.

5 thoughts on “Hypothetically Of Course”

  1. The petty side of me would want to say something, but the women side of me wouldn’t want to be the reason for another woman’s pain. Knowledge is power, but not in me to make her knowledgeable.
    Him on the other hand I’m playing petty cake, I’m Petty Labell, probably about to become his worst nightmare Petty Kruger. Until I’m out my feelings #pettinesallday

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  2. Knowledge is always power…Responsible grown up people know how to use and appreciate that power. Its not your place to tell the wife anything, you should however tell the guy that you know and then let him think you’re going to tell his wife…LOL

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  3. This made me think of eve and her choice to “know”. I would not inform the new bride but I might like a photo or few so he would know that I know and I would not continue interacting with him. Perhaps we don’t ask because intuition is telling us to have fun while we can. And at the end of the day we didn’t ask

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  4. The woman has a right to be in her feelings about not being told the real but on the other hand just because you feel like a casual relationship is growing into something more you can’t assume that is the reality of the situation without having the conversation with the other party. Once you know the truth you gotta let it go or depending on your own moral values don’t let it go and continue the fling keep your emotions in check though and realize you are not his priority his wife is period

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  5. First of all, VERY well written and whooo! What a scenario! I would definitely never contact the new wife. Trust me, if he’s pulled off a side relationship up to the day before the wedding, she likely has an inkling of what she’s getting into and could have possibly chosen to turn her head the other way for the sake of having a husband. I unfortunately know many women who would rather be in relationships rather than being single, and will deal with all sorts of things to keep a ring on their finger. Pray for her and hope that the two of them will work that out amongst themselves.

    As for the “man” (and I use that term very loosely) I would set him straight, let him know that you know EVERYTHING, that his disrespect of you will not be tolerated, and send him packing. And if you have men in your family, remind him that they come from the http://www.ridedownthere.com school of thought and aren’t afraid to open up a can of whoop-ass if he comes around again 😉

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